Do all the political parties have a random cliche slogan generator to create their key message? After all, this is their value proposition.

Or, is the brief to be so bland that people are bored into voting for them?

Even ‘at least the election has got more interesting’ Jacinda Ardern has not taken the opportunity to reposition Labour by forsaking “A fresh approach” for “Let’s do this”. Swapping a banality for worn-out words is an opportunity wasted.

All the parties have mostly failed to personalise and also neglected to incorporate a metaphor in their slogan.

Underwhelming Million Dollar Message

They’ve utterly underwhelmed us all in what cries out to be a million dollar message.

Just to recap, here are the (un)inspiring slogans being erected in a neighbourhood near you, along with a comment on what, if anything, it is telling us.

(Arranged in reverse alphabetical order to avoid hints of bias)

United Future – “Working to secure a Better Deal, For Future Generations” (what I hope you’d be doing anyway…a given?)

The Opportunities Party – “Care. Think. Vote” (the best slogan; will appeal to a sizable number of people who feel they’re consigned to voting for the least worst party)

NZ First – “Stand with us” (preaching to the converted)

National – “Delivering for New Zealanders” (delivering what? A perfect time to introduce a meaningful metaphor)

Maori – “Make it Maori” (why? As a pakeha, could be tempted if a reason was also given)

Labour – “Let’s do it” (what? Lessen inequality, have a rational immigration scheme, party)

Greens – “Great Together” (historic now, too cute) . “I love New Zealand” (We all presumably do, at least it is partly personalised)

ACT Party – “Own Your Future” (too big a call for a political party. Your is useful, directing a message to an individual consumer – which is what a vote is)

Why not 2 – 10 words that really resonate?

Given that a billboard will be the sole piece of election collateral that many people will see, you’d think the party experts would put more effort into capturing our hearts and minds with 2 – 10 words that really resonate with potential voters.

The only slogan that even remotely rings the right bells is TOP’s Care. Think. Vote.

You are forced to what the heck it is they’re trying to say.

Meanwhile Labour has missed a golden opportunity to tap Britain’s Labour playbook, who almost pulled off a recent, historic come-from-behind election win on the back of its slogan, “For the many, not the few”.

The simmering sense of inequality that is part of our economic landscape is surely the jugular vein that NZ Labour needs to tap.

You have to assume that none of the parties have consulted more widely than their own congregations when they’re dreaming up insipid ‘inspiration’.

There are certainly no Million Dollar Messages opening a door to my mind, beating a pathway to my heart. I’m unmoved.

As underwhelming utterances, these political slogans are hardly worth the billboard they’re printed on.