Perhaps our election selection should be based on a slogan that is “least likely to offend”.

Or how about the slogan generating the biggest yawn should get our vote.

Then of course, we might blame language blandness on Covid.

Because, and this might be a reflection of an older mindset with an increasingly more cynical view of politics, the messages exhorting me to vote for a particular party have the old-time Tui beer ad ring to them, “Yeh, right.”

So…what’s not right (with a couple of exceptions IMHO).

• Labour – “Let’s keep moving”. It feels to me Labour’s spent three years simply wheel spinning while being in office. It’s previous promises about eliminating poverty, more housing, better transport options have disappeared like smoke. Second term governments (would be ones) often come up with a ‘finish the job off’ expressions – but no one’s fooled that the job’s been started.
• National – “Strong Team, More Jobs, Better Economy”. Yeh, nah. If they were going to use a triplet expression like this, they should’ve played to a rhetorical strength by repeating a first word. Better Team, Better Jobs, Better Economy would’ve been much more powerful.
• NZ First – “Back your future”. Looking in the rear view mirror. Perhaps it appeals to talk-back radio listeners.
• ACT – “Change your future”. A bit more proactive, but surely there’s more action-oriented words they could’ve chosen above change.
• Greens – “Think ahead, act now”. At least this is forward looking, with an imperative statement that calls on individuals to do the right thing (by Green standards). Good at planting a future (idea/ideal), and cracking the whip that we, as individuals, can make it happen.
• TOP (The Opportunities Party) – “Don’t leave change to chance”. Included because if for nothing else, at least they would attempt to bring about evidence-based policy making. Though expressed as a negative, this slogan at least encourages you to think about how change should take place…and the alliteration of ‘change to chance’ has a nice ring to it.

However, if this is the best our self-acknowledged brightest can come up with…shudder.

And I know I know, you want short statements in order to be more social media friendly – but surely the users of Instagram, Facebook et al would prefer a slogan(s) that are more aspirational, words that inspire hope.

Instead we have dry, drab and dreary platitudes.

Now, I’ve defended, argued with my kids that at the very least they should vote because millions of people have died defending our right and privilege to freely elect who we wish.

I’ll do so again – even though I don’t know yet who that will be.

As per usual though, I’ll still simply be voting for the least worst!