All posts by Peter Kerr

Some little lessons in rhetorical oratory

Metaphor, million dollar message, Persuasive message, punchline, , , ,
Joe Biden's acceptance speech contained numerous rhetorical devices
Joe Biden’s acceptance speech contained numerous rhetorical devices. Photo by Ian Hutchinson on Unsplash

Amid the sound and fury of the recent American elections, an eloquent acceptance speech by Joe Biden was missed by many.

Unlike the bombastic ‘us versus them’ utterances of Donald Trump, Biden’s speech was a uniting ‘we’ – paraphrased from a term he used in it talking about the ‘Soul of America’.

It contained a number of rhetorical devices – devices that without us realising it use the power of words to seduce us to (what most of the world hopes) is a new dawn.

The speech contains some wonderful illustrations of employing language in a way that we can emulate for business, for social good (and of course for politics!)

Apparently Biden’s speech had major contributions from a Joe Meachem, a Presidential historian. He’s undoubtedly aware of, and has repurposed previous Presidential speeches – but that in no way diminishes the power of the prose Biden gave to all Americans, not just those who voted for him.

So what’s some examples (I should note a thanks to Hilary Bryan for pointing out some of these devices in the first place)?

Repetition (also known as anaphora)

Numerous examples, including:

“Ahead to an America…” Five in a row, outlying future aspirations.

“We…” “We stand…”, “we have…”, “we can…”, “we must…”

Focus on We and Us

The main emphasis of the speech, including its first five sentences.

“My fellow Americans, the people of this nation have spoken. They have delivered us a clear victory. A convincing victory. A victory for “We the People.”

A poetic call for change

“Let this grim era of demonisation in America begin to end – here and now.”

Reverse the order of words (chiasmus)

“And we will lead not by the example of our power, but by the power of our example.”

Of course the difference between the desire of Biden’s speech, and the reality of the system he’s inherited is vast.

But at least it provides a hope, reflected through rhetoric, that an America as a force for good rather than a one that appeals to its “darkest impulses” (wonderful backhand slap to Trump) is just around the corner.

The world waits.

Should we have a National Day of Failure?

messages that matter, Metaphor, million dollar message, one central truth, Persuasive message, punchline, , , ,
Failing to learn from failing is the biggest failure of all
Failing to learn from failure, is the biggest fail of all. Photo by Ian Kim on Unsplash

Finland has a National Day of Failure.

Yes, seriously…and as a country we often compare ourselves to, is it an idea we should embrace?

For the past 10 years, October 13 is celebrated for failure, because (not unlike New Zealand?), screwing up is frowned upon by Finnish society.

It was started by university students who felt the country’s natural fear of inadequacy in founding new businesses was holding everyone back.

The organisers of the Day for Failure say making mistakes is normal and aids success rather than detracting from it.

Well-known people are invited to speak and explain their own setbacks and mockups, as well as what they’ve learned – as it acts as an inspiration to others.

Non-successes – be it a cooking catastrophe, mis-adventure or bankruptcy (among many options) are shared – with social media storytelling encouraged as well.

It is even suggested that October 13 is the perfect day to ask a crush on a date that you’ve never been brave enough to do so before.

A few years ago, for Callaghan Innovation, I interviewed 21 business leaders on their ‘Best Mistakes’. It was both humbling and revealing to understand the setbacks and learnings these people have made in their personal and professional lives.

The Finnish National Day of Failure is simply an expansion of ‘Best Mistakes’.

Should we, could we, (would we be brave enough) to adopt such a day in our calendar?

It would certainly be an interesting sponsorship vehicle for an organisation confident of its own ability to fail smartly!

Is asking a designer to uncover your story…

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A designer is the perfect person for a look and feel of a website. A writer is best to uncover a business what and why
A designer is the perfect person for a look and feel of a website. A writer is best to uncover a business what and why. Photo by Halacious on Unsplash

…like requesting a picture framer to paint your portrait?

There’s a reason we contract specialists to carry out specific jobs.

We know they know their stuff. 

We back their expertise within their domain of knowledge. 

We’re confident their proficiency will deliver the best result the quickest.

For example a General Practitioner doctor can help correct an ingrown toenail, but you’d probably prefer a podiatrist to carry out such a minor operation.

Alternatively, an electrician can install lights, but if you want to optimise your illumination, you’d employ a lighting designer.

So, are digital designers – experts at shapes and colour and user experience the best people to get to the heart of a business what and why?

Can the look and feel of a website be its story?

At the risk of offending the design industry…unlikely.

Another way to look at this is to consider the following.

You can create a website design (it’s look and feel) after you know its story.

It’s impossible the other way round.

So, get your story under control first – and arguably separately – and then go get your design.

(But perhaps I’m wrong. What do you think?)

Simple stories are simply better business

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Simple works because we can only remember one thing at a time. Simple stories are better stories
Simple is better, less is more. Photo by Z S on Unsplash

The great temptation is to add more to our business narrative.

We’re afraid that if we don’t mention every last little additional detail, we’ll fail to attract the last little potential customer.

That’s like adding bling to an elegant suit – detracting and self-defeating

Simple is better because extra is superfluous.

This is because a straight-forward uncomplicated but elegant story makes it much more likely others, including your own people, will understand, remember and retell the core component of your product or service offer.

So, if you’re tempted to add…resist.

Instead look to subtract from your story and remove the unnecessary fat.

Less is more, because more is less.

Keep your story lean and keep your story fit for purpose.

(And if you’d like help in simplifying, and hence clarifying, your message, give Punchline a call)

All this wonderful language at their disposal…oh how our political parties disappoint

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Boring us with their election slogans
Boring us with their election slogans (Pix from Renews.co.nz)

Perhaps our election selection should be based on a slogan that is “least likely to offend”.

Or how about the slogan generating the biggest yawn should get our vote.

Then of course, we might blame language blandness on Covid.

Because, and this might be a reflection of an older mindset with an increasingly more cynical view of politics, the messages exhorting me to vote for a particular party have the old-time Tui beer ad ring to them, “Yeh, right.”

So…what’s not right (with a couple of exceptions IMHO).

  • Labour – “Let’s keep moving”. It feels to me Labour’s spent three years simply wheel spinning while being in office. It’s previous promises about eliminating poverty, more housing, better transport options have disappeared like smoke. Second term governments (would be ones) often come up with a ‘finish the job off’ expressions – but no one’s fooled that the job’s been started.
  • National – “Strong Team, More Jobs, Better Economy”. Yeh, nah. If they were going to use a triplet expression like this, they should’ve played to a rhetorical strength by repeating a first word. Better Team, Better Jobs, Better Economy would’ve been much more powerful.
  • NZ First – “Back your future”. Looking in the rear view mirror. Perhaps it appeals to talk-back radio listeners.
  • ACT – “Change your future”. A bit more proactive, but surely there’s more action-oriented words they could’ve chosen above change.
  • Greens – “Think ahead, act now”. At least this is forward looking, with an imperative statement that calls on individuals to do the right thing (by Green standards). Good at planting a future (idea/ideal), and cracking the whip that we, as individuals, can make it happen.
  • TOP (The Opportunities Party) – “Don’t leave change to chance”. Included because if for nothing else, at least they would attempt to bring about evidence-based policy making. Though expressed as a negative, this slogan at least encourages you to think about how change should take place…and the alliteration of ‘change to chance’ has a nice ring to it.

However, if this is the best our self-acknowledged brightest can come up with…shudder.

And I know I know, you want short statements in order to be more social media friendly – but surely the users of Instagram, Facebook et al would prefer a slogan(s) that are more aspirational, words that inspire hope.

Instead we have dry, drab and dreary platitudes.

Now, I’ve defended, argued with my kids that at the very least they should vote because millions of people have died defending our right and privilege to freely elect who we wish.

I’ll do so again – even though I don’t know yet who that will be.

As per usual though, I’ll still simply be voting for the least worst!

A great way to start your story…the right name

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Brandname as story
Good Natured Garden Services nails its first most important story – its name

The value of starting your business story with a brand/name that resonates with your product or service is priceless.

Conversely, giving a business an obscure name, which in itself requires explaining before you get around to telling people what you do and why you should care is immensely counterproductive.

In today’s attention economy, failing to immediately seize the opportunity to encourage a potential client to ask (in person, by phone, by the internet) “tell me more”, is like starting a 100 meter dash 10 meters behind everyone else.

So, observing a passing small truck emblazoned with “Good Natured Garden Services”, brought forth a mental tick of approval the other day.

It’s a great name on many levels.

Firstly, I know what they do – garden services.

They also answer a why, using a double-acting metaphor – good natured.

Good natured as applied to plants and your physical environment.

Good natured as in their philosophical approach and way of interacting.

You can’t help but feel a warm glow of understanding from their name – simply from getting their first most important story right.

Now, I don’t know GNGS from a bar of soap, or how long it took them to come up with their uplifting brand/name.

But it is a moniker that in four well-crafted words tells me virtually everything I need to know. They’ve nailed their name.

‘Good Natured Garden Services’ is a true Million Dollar Message.

Forest & Bird nail a value proposition with ‘Ours not mine’

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As a value proposition ‘Ours not mine’ is a pretty emotionally powerful set of three words. Its Million Dollar Message is self-evident.

So hats off to the national organisation which also has a great tagline in ‘Giving nature a voice’.

value proposition
A strongly emotive set of three words makes ‘Ours not mine’ an easy to understand Million Dollar Message

The poster lines a design company’s window display I regularly walk past.

It may be a line that Forest & Bird has used a lot…but it is the first time I’ve seen it. (Apparently 50,000 people marched behind a banner with the proclamation in Auckland in 2010, so I am a bit behind the times).

Still, better late than never, and giving praise where it is due…

Resonating key message around its value proposition

Even without necessarily agreeing with the totality of Forest & Bird’s argument, this triplet resonates as a value proposition.

You’ve got to admire the clean simplicity of F&B’s message.

It is easy to remember, difficult to argue against.

It is a reminder of who ultimately owns much of the native forest estate in New Zealand – us.

It has a sense of collectiveness to reinforce the idea that we’re stronger, together.

Whoever thought it up must’ve been delighted when these words came to mind. They would have instantly realised they’d coined a Million Dollar Message.

Has anyone else seen another environmentally-oriented statement that’s as brilliantly effective?

 

 

Are these the most boring political slogans ever?

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Do all the political parties have a random cliche slogan generator to create their key message? After all, this is their value proposition.

Or, is the brief to be so bland that people are bored into voting for them?

Even ‘at least the election has got more interesting’ Jacinda Ardern has not taken the opportunity to reposition Labour by forsaking “A fresh approach” for “Let’s do this”. Swapping a banality for worn-out words is an opportunity wasted.

All the parties have mostly failed to personalise and also neglected to incorporate a metaphor in their slogan.

Delivery is Domino's value proposition
At least someone can make decent use of a political slogan…and Domino’s does deliver! (Source: Newshub)

Underwhelming Million Dollar Message

They’ve utterly underwhelmed us all in what cries out to be a million dollar message.

Just to recap, here are the (un)inspiring slogans being erected in a neighbourhood near you, along with a comment on what, if anything, it is telling us.

(Arranged in reverse alphabetical order to avoid hints of bias)

United Future – “Working to secure a Better Deal, For Future Generations” (what I hope you’d be doing anyway…a given?)

The Opportunities Party – “Care. Think. Vote” (the best slogan; will appeal to a sizable number of people who feel they’re consigned to voting for the least worst party)

NZ First – “Stand with us” (preaching to the converted)

National – “Delivering for New Zealanders” (delivering what? A perfect time to introduce a meaningful metaphor)

Maori – “Make it Maori” (why? As a pakeha, could be tempted if a reason was also given)

Labour – “Let’s do it” (what? Lessen inequality, have a rational immigration scheme, party)

Greens – “Great Together” (historic now, too cute) . “I love New Zealand” (We all presumably do, at least it is partly personalised)

ACT Party – “Own Your Future” (too big a call for a political party. Your is useful, directing a message to an individual consumer – which is what a vote is)

Why not 2 – 10 words that really resonate?

Given that a billboard will be the sole piece of election collateral that many people will see, you’d think the party experts would put more effort into capturing our hearts and minds with 2 – 10 words that really resonate with potential voters.

The only slogan that even remotely rings the right bells is TOP’s Care. Think. Vote.

You are forced to what the heck it is they’re trying to say.

Meanwhile Labour has missed a golden opportunity to tap Britain’s Labour playbook, who almost pulled off a recent, historic come-from-behind election win on the back of its slogan, “For the many, not the few”.

The simmering sense of inequality that is part of our economic landscape is surely the jugular vein that NZ Labour needs to tap.

You have to assume that none of the parties have consulted more widely than their own congregations when they’re dreaming up insipid ‘inspiration’.

There are certainly no Million Dollar Messages opening a door to my mind, beating a pathway to my heart. I’m unmoved.

As underwhelming utterances, these political slogans are hardly worth the billboard they’re printed on.

 

PledgeMe starts its story (tagline) perfectly

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Never, ever, believe anyone who says that creating a tagline or slogan or positioning statement is easy.

It can’t be since it is a massive challenge to condense your message to a succinct 2 – 10 words that express your heart and soul and value proposition.

Crafting a what, how and why proclamation takes mental sweat.

So, it is extremely honest of PledgeMe founder Anna Guenther to state it took three years for the crowdfunding platform to nail its own slogan. She was speaking at a recent Deloitte Private after work function.

PledgeMe’s tagline is:

‘Helping Kiwis fund the things they care about’

There’s no big fancy words here. It is original (won’t be confused with with anyone else’s expression), natural and clear-cut.

A simple, emotional and appealing tagline

The tagline obeys the requirements of being simple, emotional and appealing. If Anna uses the expression, people immediately understand what PledgeMe is about and follow up with a question.

They ask ‘tell me more’, rather than screwing their face up and going ‘what?’.

I’d like to think that Punchline’s co-design process, working in the trenches with the client, rather than sitting on a cloud and dreaming something up, would have come up with something similar…and taken days rather than years.

Punchline leads with question-storming, and understands you’re trying to start your story as cleanly and empathetically and metaphorically as possible. This removes the temptation to create a waffly and generic phrase that could equally apply to an IT company or widget-maker.

Now businesses can carry out their own trial-and-error slogan-creation process, but it is almost invariably quicker and cheaper to have it facilitated by an outsider.

Someone from without rather than within is more likely to sort the wood from the trees, to be able to see the big picture.

That’s because too much knowledge, too much intimacy with a product or service removes the detachment required to give what you do a name and description.

However, PledgeMe has, eventually, collared its own million dollar message.

‘Helping Kiwis fund the things they care about’ works equally well as a barbeque ‘what do you do?’ question, and as the first thing you read on their website.

Having a statement that your own people are more than happy to use in a social setting is the ultimate truth test for an organisation.

PledgeMe passes the inspection with flying colours.

‘Own the journey, not the machine’ – Mevo’s message hits all the right buttons

Content marketing, messages that matter, Persuasive message,

Mevo, a pay-by-the-hour electric car startup (though pretty well-funded) based in Wellington’s Biz Dojo, has excellent messaging – I can’t fault it.

Its message starts with its name – Mevo. This looks both novel and familiar – and is in fact the word move, with the ‘e’ and ‘o’ reversed…hence Mevo.

In eight words it describes exactly what it is, what it provides.

‘App-based, on-demand access to electric vehicles’.

Mevo’s created a million dollar message (in fact a number of them)…now to prove its business model

Emotion-based message

Finally (among admittedly many messages), Mevo has an emotion-based reminder of what’s in it for their customers.

‘Own the journey, not the machine’.

You can easily imagine one, or all, of these expressions being effortlessly and unashamedly being said at a BBQ. Just as importantly they can roll off the tongue at a business function (both of which are spot-on indicators that a message is on point).

As well as tapping into the zeitgeist of the moment as we head to a world of non-car ownership, Mevo has nailed their million dollar messages.

The private company expects to have six cars in two pods (for pick up) around Wellington by the end of March. It is looking to prove its business model with 50 vehicles dotted around the city by the end of the year.

One thing that won’t let it down as it seeks (loads of) customers is its messaging.

Its choice of words are simple, emotional and appealing – three criteria vital to telling your story as persuasively as possible.

Excuse the pun; but Mevo has messaging that moves people to action.